Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
