Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
