before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Im part way to drunk.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
