That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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