Do you still have your period?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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