I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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