but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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