I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
