I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
