Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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