I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
