I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
