i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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