he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
