Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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