Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
