New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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