You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
