I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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