I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
