So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
