is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
