i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
