I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so explain again why im purple
no
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
