Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
