Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
