Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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