my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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