U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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