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just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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