Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
