Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
