I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
