I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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