So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
This house was built for laser tag.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
