You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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