after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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