he shaved USA in his pubs
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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