happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm passing your future prison.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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