Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
