Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
