do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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