HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
