I never want to see another naked old woman again.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
