how can u be prego again
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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