i may or may not be watching the land before time
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
