It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
