Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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