My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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