There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
