so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
