yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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