So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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