I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
